“I’m pretty sure hash browns don’t look like that.”
“Those are scrambled eggs, Barton.”
*Phil’s skill set does not include cooking.*
That’s ok, he can order take out like a badass
-slightly offended- Yes, well just like MRE’s, you’ll still live in the desert if you eat them.
Hn.
that is not how eggs work. Sure, sweetheart. They’re perfectly edible. Like an MRE.
Poor baby.
Circus fic!
Phil being a terrible cook was already my headcanon but this helped cement it. And it’s for similar reasons - the guy is...